THIS IS ONLY A TEST...
HAD THIS BEEN AN ACTUAL ALERT...
THIS WOULD HAVE BEEN FOLLOWED BY
DETAILED INSTRUCTIONS...
HOWEVER, THIS IS ONLY A TEST...
I REPEAT...THIS IS ONLY A TEST
I had struggled to write this edition for some time,
doubted myself...
Had I finally gone that far off the deep end,
(don't answer that)
I began to see it everywhere...
T.V. shows, commercials, movies...
I started to wonder...was I the only one who noticed this seemingly paranoid delusion...
And then I was watching a news program
and the broadcaster spoke of this very subject,
and I thought to myself...IT IS TIME...
I have labeled it "Stupid White Guy" syndrome...
or "SWG" syndrome.
It seems that at every turn, at every opportunity, the white guy has become the dolt...the idiot.
However, it not just 'white guys', and I don't think I am trying to make a case of outright misandry...because man bashing has been a constant comic staple.
But of late, it seems that the Stupid White Guy has become the dominate subject...
There are few if any examples on T.V., commercials or movie roles where the white guy is portrayed as cool, smart, romantic, suave, capable...
White Guys can't take care of themselves, are lazy slobs, can't cook or feed themselves, are incapable of attracting or keeping the opposite sex, and it seems are now constantly portrayed as white thugs, terrorists, while almost all gay relationship roles are represented as white men...
And there are few if any father figure roles where white men are portrayed favorably.
It just seems that if there is need of an unsavory or controversial character...
it is almost always depicted as a Stupid White Guy.
And the few cases where the white guys isn't portrayed in this fashion, it seems it is still meant to mock.
I don't know if it is because it's just that easy...
if it is meant to intentionally demean or change public perceptions, if ammunition is just so plentiful...
or if Stupid White Guys are the ONLY bastion left that can be openly mocked in this era of political correctness without fear of retribution ...without fear of a lawsuit, or picketing and protest from the likes of Jesse Jackson, Al Sharpton, NOW, PETA or whomever.
It just seems that after founding and creating the most prosperous, generous and free nation in history...
Liberating the world...
Putting a man on the moon...
with a car no less...
Somewhere between then and now...
the White Guy has devolved into the chump who just can't get out his own way...
Its a wonder Stupid White Guys EVER get married...
I mean they can't even choose cough medicine...
It's so easy a primate can do it...but not a Stupid White Guy...
They can't even have a party...
Trust him, you Stupid White Guy...He is a Docta after all...
hmmmm...maybe white guys can work at the party without screwing it up...
on second thought...maybe not...
all this work is making me hungry...somebody order a pizza...
and make sure they don't send that drug addicted loser Stupid White Guy to deliver it...oh...too late
I just can't put my finger on it...maybe it's that Stupid White Guy hygiene...
in contrast...
after watching this commercial...
I almost wish I was his man...
I said ALMOST
maybe it's because we all know...White Guys can't dance...
and evidently Stupid White Guys just don't know it yet...
and everybody knows ONLY Stupid White Guys need this...
the really funny thing about this is when you realize just who's size 14's Bob brings to the counter...thats right...the guy that obviously doesn't need this product...
I can't really put my finger on it...
I mean... the reason for this seeming free for all of castigation...
I guess the only hope for Stupid White Guys is to keep your white collar job that was 'given' to you...that is if you're not too white, too stupid or just a creep...
No worries....after you lose your job because you've just been stealing from your clients, (cause that's what Stupid White Guys do), you'll have noooo problem landing a new one, because you're such a huckleberry...
well now that you're a shopping cart wrangler...used to living on your white collar budget, you just can't make ends meet.
So you resort to this...
I defy you to find ONE ad by this company in which the thief is NOT a Stupid White Guy.
But since you are a Stupid White Guy...you don't know that maybe you should hide your identity, or maybe pick a residence that doesn't know your name, if you're going to attempt a strong arm robbery...so as you run away with your bleeding elbow, and she is getting called by a 'security professional' that looks like Barack Obama, maybe you'll remember that next time...
Now your on the run...so you decide to go home and turn on some Stupid White Guy redneck Nascar...and you make it just in time for the public address announcements...
followed by a commercial...
then the wife comes home...you've had a long day of cart wranglin, and failed strong armed robberies...you just want to go away and take a break...until...
yeah...that's right she spent the money you both saved that would have paid for plane tickets, the hotel room, and dining....
to buy herself ONE dress...just grin an bear it you
Stupid White Guy...because we all know what happens if YOU spend the money improperly...
the fight that ensues afterwards sends you out to the bar with your buddy...but you have no money...
now you've talked it out over a couple of beers...and on the way home you stop for a bite to eat...
and eventhough it seems that sometimes she treats you like an...
You...being the Stupid White Guy that you are, think that arguing over money is stupid, and YOU can't live without her, so you plan a romantic evening to make it up to her...
let's just say that in true Stupid White Guy form...
that didn't go as planned...
Now your a little depressed, nothing has gone right for soooo long, you've had a long day of cart wranglin and failed strong arm robberies, so you stop to pick up a couple of beers on your way home...
Need I say more ???
Well at least we still have Rock and Roll...Right ???
WTF !!!!....well I guess the throw down is complete...yo...
the Holla back...West Coast...its off the hizzie...gangsta...
Tell me where I'm wrong...
but before you do...take ANY of the videos I have exhibited and replace the 'Stupid White Guy' with a woman...or a person of a different race...
then present your arguement...and tell me where I'm wrong.
thanx for being here...
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till next time...
